Bad Five-line Poems for Fun — My Tribute to the Jesus Process

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by Tim Widowfield

Reproduction of an original painting by renowned science-fiction and fantasy illustrator Rowena http://www.rowenaart.com/. It depicts Dr. Isaac Asimov enthroned with symbols of his life’s work. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This post is just for fun

You probably already knew that Isaac Asimov loved limericks. I agree with him that by definition a limerick is a poem with five lines, in the metric form: AABBA, and that it must be dirty. OK, they can be simply “naughty,” but the dirtier, the better.

Hence, the following doggerel is nothing special. They aren’t “clean limericks,” since that’s an oxymoron. Nay, simply call them “bad five-line poems.”

Without further ado, here’s my poetic tribute to the towering intellects who blog write essays over at The New Toxonian.


That genius, R Joseph Hoffman,
Said “Oh, my, here’s a larf, man.
Despite my upbringing,
I’ve stooped to mud-slinging,
And now I can’t turn it off, man.”


A scholarly gent named Maurice,
Burst forth in creative release,
With arguments flung
In the original tongue,
His results were based on caprice.


Steph, who can seem a bit spacey,
Was shown evidence prima facie.
In a voice slightly nasal,
She gave her appraisal:
“Please wait while I ask Doctor Casey.”

The JP Trio

All hail the academicians,
Not guided by pride or ambitions.
Their historical Jesus
Has become processed cheeses,
Melted beyond recognitions.

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Tim Widowfield

Tim is a retired vagabond who lives with his wife and multiple cats in a 20-year-old motor home. To read more about Tim, see our About page.

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9 thoughts on “Bad Five-line Poems for Fun — My Tribute to the Jesus Process”

  1. Stephanie, Casey and R.J.
    Held other’s opinions so lay
    With humour destroyed
    Their anger deployed
    They resorted to wild arjay-barjay*

    (* arjay-barjay is the Aramaic transliteration for argy-bargy, an ancient Scottish dialect word. Other rhyming words could have been used but this choice best fits my otherwise unsustainable thesis. The first recorded use of the word was in a newspaper crime report concerning a civilised discussion held over two bottles of whisky by a pair of West Highland gentleman over whether the Turin Shroud was so called because it got about a bit or to distinguish it from all the other shrouds which existed in the cathedrals of other Italian cities)

  2. All hail the New Oxonions!
    Guided by bile and opinions.

    Their Aramaic so obscure

    A disease with no sure cure,

    That they’re doomed to oblivion.

      1. I thought that they were, in essence, going to write the “book” that Erhman wishes he had written. Perhaps the foundation for this is proving to be more elusive than they first thought.

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