2011-12-23

Alternative view of Christmas through A Hymn to Jesus (WoodyAllenJESUS)

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

by Neil Godfrey

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_SFdUJLebzU]

But do read Tim Minchin’s own take on his experience in producing this song @ I’m Not On The Jonathan Ross Show.

And the Lyrics have been transcribed by an online friend:

Jesus was a Jewish philosopher
Had a lot of nice ideas
About our existential fears
Much admired by his peers
Short and Jewish and quite political
Often hesitant and very analytical

Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus
Woody Allen Jesus!

Jesus was a great entertainer
Doing cool tricks all of the time
Turning water into wine
Making stormy weather fine
Even now his stunts confound us
Kinda did what Darren Brown does

Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to magic Woody Allen Jesus
Magic Woody Allen Jesus!

Jesus died but then came back to life
So the Holy Bible said
Kinda like in Dawn of the Dead
Like a film by Simon Pegg
Try that these days, you’d be in trouble
Geeks would try to smack you with a shovel

Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus
Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus!

Jesus ascended into Heaven
He was an incredible guy
You don’t often find fellas that fly
Disappear right into the sky
And only once did he use this ability
With great power comes great responsibility

Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Jesus
Jesus!

Jesus’ mom gave birth to him
Without having sex with a dude
No, she would never be that rude
Never even be nude with a dude
Breeding without the opposite gender is
Commonly known as parthenogenesis
Other animals that don’t need males
Include a lot of lizards and various snails

Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon Jesus
Jesus!

Jesus can communicate with the deceased
Like Psychic Sally–
Jesus lives forever, which is pretty odd
But not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood
Jesus is in more than one place at a time
Like an electron or Schrödinger’s feline
Jesus pulled off that water walking miracle
He was as handy as an amphibious vehicle
Jesus had very long hair and a beard

But I’m not saying it’s me
I’m not saying that I am Jesus
I’m not saying that I am Jesus
I am Jesus!

Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Jesus
Woody Allen Jesus!
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon
Telepathic Vampire Quantum Hovercraft *Me* Jesus!

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Neil Godfrey

Neil is the author of this post. To read more about Neil, see our About page.

Latest posts by Neil Godfrey (see all)

Is Everything a Question of Probability? - 2024-12-15 03:04:03 GMT+0000
The Folly of Bayesian Probability in “Doing History” - 2024-12-13 05:51:46 GMT+0000
Jesus Mythicism and Historical Knowledge, Part 4: Did Jesus Exist? - 2024-11-27 08:20:47 GMT+0000

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Neil Godfrey on The Folly of Bayesian Probability in “Doing History”: “I re-read my earlier reply and can see how you took it as “emotional” — but I can assure you…” Dec 18, 02:43
Neil Godfrey on The Folly of Bayesian Probability in “Doing History”: “I simply asked you to tell me what it is that you think I misunderstand or what, specifically, I am…” Dec 17, 20:26
Petr Jancar on The Folly of Bayesian Probability in “Doing History”: “Neil, I have no interest to engage in an emotional discussion. I felt indebted to you, since I read many…” Dec 17, 19:21
Neil Godfrey on The Folly of Bayesian Probability in “Doing History”: “Why do you ask? What are you trying to argue? I agree and acknowledge that Bayes theorem is a valid…” Dec 16, 09:22
Petr Jancar on The Folly of Bayesian Probability in “Doing History”: “My sentence “I voice several assumptions, testing if we all agree on them:” was meant as a yes/no question; let…” Dec 16, 08:57
Clarke W Owens on Is Everything a Question of Probability?: “Well, the distinction between “public knowledge” and the knowledge of professional researchers is not always crystal clear. For example, western…” Dec 15, 22:34
Neil Godfrey on Is Everything a Question of Probability?: “I spoke of public knowledge but afterwards wondered if I missed your point. You may have been thinking of knowledge…” Dec 15, 22:05
Neil Godfrey on The Folly of Bayesian Probability in “Doing History”: “I don’t think the scholars who do this are engaging in “nonsense”. I think they are genuinely trapped in thinking…” Dec 15, 21:52
Neil Godfrey on Is Everything a Question of Probability?: “Empirical knowledge is different from Bayesian probabilism, but so is most all other knowledge, because knowledge is socially determined. I…” Dec 15, 21:31

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